The first half of the week, we stayed with my mom in Missouri. Mom hadn’t seen the girls for a few years, so I know this was special for her. She’s going through a lot of her stuff, and she found some things to give to the girls—pictures, dishes, quilts, and a wooden sewing cabinet that was her grandmother’s. It’s over a hundred years old, and she said she wanted to give it to her first granddaughter, so it went home with Rebecca.
We got to spend some time with my two brothers who live close to Mom, Rodney and Jim. Jim shared his animals with the girls, including a friendly cat named Thomas, a miniature horse, and baby calves, one just an hour old.
Rodney was funny. He had dinner with us on Sunday, and at the end of the meal he told me how Rebecca ate the last of the lettuce and tomatoes. He said, “I noticed that when she shared with Sarah, she gave her the smallest tomato.” He smiled at Rebecca and said, “I’d have done the same thing.”
On Tuesday the girls went to town for some internet time, and I went with my mom to her quilting group. What a fun group of ladies. They talked about the community, neighbors, politics, happenings in the news, health issues and their kids and grandkids and great grandkids. They teased my mother and my aunt Geraldine about acting like “sisters.” When the girls came back to have lunch with us, the ladies teased them about how they should be giving me some grandchildren. What a wonderful group this is for my mom to be able to share with.
On Wednesday, we drove back to Iowa and spent the rest of the week with Rebecca. We got to go to a volleyball game, where Rebecca is the cheerleader. After a while Rebecca told me, “We lost.” Sarah told me that Rebecca was cheering for ten different teams, and Rebecca said, “We also won.”
The next day we drove to a town with one of the papers Rebecca works on and spent a lot of the day with her friend, the sheriff. Rebecca, the sheriff, and the people in the office joke and poke around at each other a lot. One man stuck his head in the office and said, with a sarcastic edge, that Rebecca is “a slice of Heaven.” They actually all get along well, though, and the sheriff said Rebecca is a good person and has been a help to him.
The sheriff drove us around the county some, to visit his parents, and to see his farm. He asked Rebecca if she wanted to ride his horse. She said, “She doesn’t have anything on,” and he said, “That’s called bareback.” Both girls did ride, and I told him this was a nice thing for my two city girls.
We had lunch with some people from Rebecca’s office; went to her garden where we got some great cherry tomatoes; visited the dog shelter where she volunteers, and got to play with some amazingly friendly dogs. Rebecca’s cat, Millie, was not sure at all she liked having us invade her apartment. She is a great kitty, full of energy, talks a lot, and by Friday, she didn’t bite me every time I touched her.
On Saturday, Rebecca said she needed to have one day where she didn’t go anywhere and do anything. We sat around the house, reading, me crocheting, Sarah looking through Rebecca’s movies, and Rebecca cooking yummy food for us.
We watched a couple movies, and the girls were great to me, stopping them often to let me know what was going on. They’d both seen the movies many times, and could tell me what was coming next and the dialogue even before it happened.
By Saturday night Sarah said, “I want to see the home people. Then go into my room. Well, and take the dog with me.”
Before we went home Sunday, we got to have breakfast with my friend Jessica, who now lives in Iowa too. What a great trip.
I learned a lot about how I can be a better mom to adult children. I need to try not to push the kids so hard about being my buddy, not to pressure them about how to handle their lives, be a person who earns their willingness to share their lives with me. It’s hard, but I hope God will help me grow as the mother I want and need to be to all five of my grown-up children.
Rodney was funny. He had dinner with us on Sunday, and at the end of the meal he told me how Rebecca ate the last of the lettuce and tomatoes. He said, “I noticed that when she shared with Sarah, she gave her the smallest tomato.” He smiled at Rebecca and said, “I’d have done the same thing.”
On Tuesday the girls went to town for some internet time, and I went with my mom to her quilting group. What a fun group of ladies. They talked about the community, neighbors, politics, happenings in the news, health issues and their kids and grandkids and great grandkids. They teased my mother and my aunt Geraldine about acting like “sisters.” When the girls came back to have lunch with us, the ladies teased them about how they should be giving me some grandchildren. What a wonderful group this is for my mom to be able to share with.
On Wednesday, we drove back to Iowa and spent the rest of the week with Rebecca. We got to go to a volleyball game, where Rebecca is the cheerleader. After a while Rebecca told me, “We lost.” Sarah told me that Rebecca was cheering for ten different teams, and Rebecca said, “We also won.”
The next day we drove to a town with one of the papers Rebecca works on and spent a lot of the day with her friend, the sheriff. Rebecca, the sheriff, and the people in the office joke and poke around at each other a lot. One man stuck his head in the office and said, with a sarcastic edge, that Rebecca is “a slice of Heaven.” They actually all get along well, though, and the sheriff said Rebecca is a good person and has been a help to him.
The sheriff drove us around the county some, to visit his parents, and to see his farm. He asked Rebecca if she wanted to ride his horse. She said, “She doesn’t have anything on,” and he said, “That’s called bareback.” Both girls did ride, and I told him this was a nice thing for my two city girls.
We had lunch with some people from Rebecca’s office; went to her garden where we got some great cherry tomatoes; visited the dog shelter where she volunteers, and got to play with some amazingly friendly dogs. Rebecca’s cat, Millie, was not sure at all she liked having us invade her apartment. She is a great kitty, full of energy, talks a lot, and by Friday, she didn’t bite me every time I touched her.
On Saturday, Rebecca said she needed to have one day where she didn’t go anywhere and do anything. We sat around the house, reading, me crocheting, Sarah looking through Rebecca’s movies, and Rebecca cooking yummy food for us.
We watched a couple movies, and the girls were great to me, stopping them often to let me know what was going on. They’d both seen the movies many times, and could tell me what was coming next and the dialogue even before it happened.
By Saturday night Sarah said, “I want to see the home people. Then go into my room. Well, and take the dog with me.”
Before we went home Sunday, we got to have breakfast with my friend Jessica, who now lives in Iowa too. What a great trip.
I learned a lot about how I can be a better mom to adult children. I need to try not to push the kids so hard about being my buddy, not to pressure them about how to handle their lives, be a person who earns their willingness to share their lives with me. It’s hard, but I hope God will help me grow as the mother I want and need to be to all five of my grown-up children.
Thanks for sharing, Kathy! Isn't it funny how just when we think we're finally sorting through how to parent, our kids grow and we have a whole new set of challenges?
ReplyDeleteBlessings!